Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
