Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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