You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
