Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
