Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
honey bunches of taint.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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