dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
