conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
