Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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