Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
third nipple confirmed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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