Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize