I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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