If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
