I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
