I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
