What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize