Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
