Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
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The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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