I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
