dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
