Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
