He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
