fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
they need to just BURY HIM!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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