i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
