your parents love me but you hate me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
