I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
