She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
