you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
