What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
