My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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