that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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