My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
