she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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