We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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