You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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