There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is it because I queefed?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
