We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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