I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
These tits shall not be calmed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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