More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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