SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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