since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I want a musical about memes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
