So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Text me some of your sweat
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
