it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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