So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
