Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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