There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
