She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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