She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
