i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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