Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
