covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
