carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
