so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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