my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
