I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
