I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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