): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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