I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
