About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
