Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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