Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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