i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
