Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They have beer where we have blood.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
